This trip feels like a new era for me in being a mother and daughter. All my closest relationships are changing. Both my parents are now dead, so being a daughter is totally different. My daughters are grown up women. Having the family together for Dad’s funeral made this all feel very concrete. During the time we were all together in New Jersey, Maggie said to me that she felt like a daughter of a daughter.
It is one thing to know that Maggie and Rachel have their own homes, their own kitchens. But it was a whole other thing to be there with Maggie. We cooked Rosh Hashanah dinner together. I helped. She was a very fast, confident, efficient, creative cook. She takes more risks than I do I noticed. She delegates well. What a feeling of strong femininity working together in the kitchen with all those good smells.
Maggie cared for me physically—took my arm, worried about my sore leg, made sure I had good food. And she cared for me emotionally, listening, holding my hand, adding her own soft spoken wisdom as I dealt with Dad’s death.
Maggie planning her day 8am
My daughter is making her way in the world and it isn’t easy. But she and Daniel support each other, encourage each other, help each other. Their home is a warm, nurturing place. The dining room table is the starting off point every morning.. Always we had coffee. Some days we had delicious rye bread made by Daniel’s grandmother. Or some cinnamon bread or rye bread Daniel’s parents had brought up from Carinthia. Another morning Maggie made us eggs and toast. I took pictures of each of them starting out their days at the table. Maggie going over a complicated schedule of many different jobs in different places. Daniel going over the newspapers and explaining the Austrian political situation to me.
Parenthood has always, for me, been filled with highs and lows: unbelievable worry and pain when things don’t go well, when you feel like you made the wrong decision, when your child is sick or if you don’t know if they are safe, and such great joy sometimes even just moments after the pain. This trip was one of the great joy times. Maggie and Daniel treated me with so much love, allowed me into their lives. I got to understand their struggles and victories. They shared the beauties of Vienna, and some of their important places. They cared for me in all ways making sure I got everything I needed--spoke for me since I don’t speak German. They also coached me and helped me to make steps going places alone, gave me mini-German lessons. It was really like I was the child and they were the parents now that I think about it.
My daughter is making her way in the world and it isn’t easy. But she and Daniel support each other, encourage each other, help each other. Their home is a warm, nurturing place. The dining room table is the starting off point every morning.. Always we had coffee. Some days we had delicious rye bread made by Daniel’s grandmother. Or some cinnamon bread or rye bread Daniel’s parents had brought up from Carinthia. Another morning Maggie made us eggs and toast. I took pictures of each of them starting out their days at the table. Maggie going over a complicated schedule of many different jobs in different places. Daniel going over the newspapers and explaining the Austrian political situation to me.Parenthood has always, for me, been filled with highs and lows: unbelievable worry and pain when things don’t go well, when you feel like you made the wrong decision, when your child is sick or if you don’t know if they are safe, and such great joy sometimes even just moments after the pain. This trip was one of the great joy times. Maggie and Daniel treated me with so much love, allowed me into their lives. I got to understand their struggles and victories. They shared the beauties of Vienna, and some of their important places. They cared for me in all ways making sure I got everything I needed--spoke for me since I don’t speak German. They also coached me and helped me to make steps going places alone, gave me mini-German lessons. It was really like I was the child and they were the parents now that I think about it.
Daniel reading the paper 8:30am
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